Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Kindergarten level mistake causes F-22 Raptor Jets grounding

The US Air Force has grounded its entire fleet of F-22 Raptors, the most sophisticated combat aircraft in the world, after basic design problems emerged in the plane. The design mistake was so basic that aeronautical experts call it "Kindergarten level mistake", i.e. the malfunctioning oxygen supply, officials said.

"The safety of our airmen is paramount and we believe that no human can survive without oxygen. Therefore, we will take the necessary time to ensure we perform a thorough investigation," spokeswoman Captain Jennifer Ferrau said.

The Air Force was probing breakdowns in the oxygen supply system for the plane after several pilots reported problems, according to the journal Flight Global.

In one case, an F-22 scraped tree tops before landing and the pilot could not remember the incident, indicating a possible symptom of hypoxia from a lack of air, the magazine reported.

Ferrau said it was too soon to say for certain that the technical problem was related to an on-board oxygen generating system, known as OBOGS. "We are still working to identify the exact nature of the problem. It is premature to definitively link the current issues to the OBOGS system," she said.

Since January, F-22 pilots have been barred from flying, following the crash of a Raptor jet in Alaska during a training flight.

Grounding an entire fleet of aircraft is a rare step. However, we are working to mutate humans, so that they can survive without oxygen, officials said.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Zardari uncovers fourth enemy on his fourth visit to Garhi Khuda Bakhsh

Ever since the death of his wife Benazir Bhutto, President Asif Ali Zardari has visited Garhi Khuda Bakhsh four times, and on all those visits he has successfully uncovered a new enemy.
  • On his first visit, Zardari declared Q-League as the assassins of Benazir Bhutto, and named them as 'Qatil-League', i.e. killer-league.
  • On his second visit, Zardari expressed fear from Judiciary and said that the judiciary want to remove his government with their 'Pen Power'.
  • On his third visit, Zardari announced Media as his enemy, and called them as 'Political Actors'.
  • On his fourth visit, Zardari remembered that Nawaz Sharif is his real rival, and he called his as 'Maulvi Nawaz Sharif'.
Why doesn't Mr. Zardari stick with his foes? What is the reason behind uncovering a new enemy on each visit to Garhi Khuda Bakhsh?

The answer is very simple, whenever he visits Garhi Khuda Bakhsh, people expect him to uncover the murderers of Benazir Bhutto. But due to zero progress in Benazir Butto Murder Case, Zardari always diverts the attention of his followers by uncovering a new enemy.

The strategy is working though...

Super woman fights for hijab

Super Woman Kulsoom Abdullah took up weightlifting a couple of years ago, i.e. for becoming stronger, and she quickly became passionate for the male-dominated sport. However, she has been barred from entering the US Senior Nationals, just because she wears hijab.

“I’d hate to think that just because you dress a certain way, you can’t participate in sports,” Kulsoom said.

“I don’t want other women who dress like me to say, ‘I can’t get involved in that sport’ and get discouraged. It would be nice to have an environment where it wouldn’t be an issue of how you dress or having different beliefs and faiths.”

She’s right. It’s time for sports to show the rest of society how to bridge the gap between legitimate concerns and religious tolerance.

Kulsoom got a bit of good news recently when USA Weightlifting agreed to take her case to the IWF.

This, of course, is a bigger issue than any one sport, any single athlete.
It’s an ongoing struggle in sports, with some compromise, but not nearly enough.

Muslim women have competed in track and field wearing neck-to-ankle bodysuits and the traditional headscarf known as a hijab, most notably Roqaya Al-Gassra of Bahrain, who made it to the semifinals of the 200 meters at the Beijing Olympics.

Every religion has its own peculiarities, which might seem odd to those on the outside but are perfectly reasonable to the faithful. Stifling religious traditions and practices is a very slippery slope indeed, one that sport should make every effort to avoid.

Kulsoom only wants to abide by her beliefs when she’s snatching a bar full of weights above her head. When first starting out, she was allowed to enter local meets wearing garb that made her comfortable on the inside and out: Loose-fitting exercise pants, a tight-fitting long-sleeve shirt with a T-shirt over it, and the head scarf.

As she attempted to move up to higher-level competitions, she ran up against International Weightlifting Federation rules, which forbid suits that cover either the knees or elbows because judges must be able to see that both have been locked out to complete a lift.

OK, that’s understandable. But Kulsoom said a tight-fitting shirt allows judges to get a good look at her elbows. And, if it meant ensuring a level playing field, she’d certainly be willing to wear a leg covering that conforms to her religion but allows the judges to determine whether she’s completed a lift. Considering all the advances in athletic apparel, that shouldn’t be a major issue.
Seems perfectly reasonable.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Pir Mazharul Haq apologizes after declaring Speaker Nisar Khuhro liable to be killed

Sindh Education Minister Pir Mazhaul Haq apologiezes to Speaker Nisar Khuhro after declaring him as liable to be killed. While the Speaker Sindh Assembly Nisar Khuhro laughed out at Pir Sahab's statement and said "What ever is in the heart, it comes to the mouth".

The Senior Minister said "Your honor it was a slip of tongue, I didn't mean it."

Earlier Pir Mazharul Haq said "Rana Sanaullah says that Nisar Khuhro is liable to be killed". This statement made the whole house laugh including the Speaker Khuhro. However, Pir Mazharul Haq called it a slip of tongue.

Speaker Nisar Khuhro replied by saying "What ever is in the heart, it comes to the mouth".

Luckily for Pir Mazharul Haq, the Speaker hasn't asked him to concentrate on house proceedings...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The atheist inside Bashir Bilour wakes up

The atheist inside Senior Minister of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa Bashir Ahmad Bilour has waken up, and he is no longer a believer of the "Allahu Akbar" (نعوذ بالله), as he only believes in science and technology these days.

The Senior Minister said, "The time for saying "Allahu Akbar" has come to an end (نعوذ بالله), and now it is time for believing in science and technology."

Talking about his collaborative work with Senior Deputy Mission Director, USAID Ms. Denise Herbol, Bashir Bilour said "I am a scientist by nature, and conducting a few scientific experiments these days. For example, I have just conducted hybridization experiments in garden with Ms. Denise, for proving Mendelian inheritance by planting trees."

Search for Bin Laden continues...

A stupid San Diego diver and treasure hunter, Bill Warren woes to continue search for Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. He hopes to find Bin Laden's dead body by scanning the Arabian Sea with active sonar (Sound Navigation And Ranging).
Warren said his main motivation is to try and see if the US government was telling the truth about bin Laden’s death and burial at sea. 

He further said that the US government's track record proves that they have a tendency to lie in defense affairs. 

Moreover, Warren hopes not to have an encounter with Somali pirates.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

MV Suez is sinking, after being released by Somali pirates : Captain Wasi


The Captain of unfortunate MV Suez has appealed to the Chief of Pakistan Navy seeking immediate help in view of their vessel being caught in strong winds feared capsizing since its release with 22-member crew on board by the Somalian pirates and series of misfortunes latest among them the break down of the tug towing MV Suez.

MV Suez Captain Wasi said "The weather is threatening due to monsoon and their immediate retrieval may be arranged. The Captain said that no law was more important than saving human lives, "We are in the open sea for last three days; and the owner of the ship has thus far not sent the fuel, big insurance money might have been the reason for his reluctance." 

Update 20th June: The crew of the unfortunate MV Suez has been shifted to PNS Babur on the orders of Chief of Naval Staff Admiral Noman Bashir. 

According to the press release issued by the Public Relations Directorate of Pakistan Navy the 22 member MV Suez crew has been evacuated and boarded safely on PNS Babar, it includes eleven Egyptians, six Indians, four Pakistanis and one Sri Lankan.

The press release further stated the crew members would be transferred to Pakistan Navy frigate PNS Zulfiquar for onward journey to Pakistan, and most likely they will reach Pakistan on June 23. 

Update 21st June: As a gesture of bad-will, the Indian Home Ministry has imprisoned five Pakistanis who were freed from the captivity of Somali pirates by Indian Navy on March 12. 

Update 23rd June: Pakistan Navy frigate PNS Zulfiqar carrying the crew of the MV Suez anchored at Karachi port. They were greeted by their family members and their rescuers.


Moreover, the non-Pakistani crew members of MV Suez were handed over to their respective consulates.


Update 24th June: The freed Indian Sailors have reached New Delhi, via a Dubai-Delhi flight. They were greeted by anxious parents, wives and children holding posters that said "Thank You, Burney Uncle" and "Thank You, Pakistan Navy". 

However, sailors and their families say the Indian government ignored cries for help.

I am doing research in dance education : Pir Mazharul Haq

Sindh Education Minister Pir Mazharul Haq has said that he is doing research in dance education, as he wants to introduce this subject in the schools and colleges of Sindh.

Earlier, during the budget discussion in Sindh Assembly, MPA Marvi Rashdi criticized the Education Minister, which, according to her, have failed to deliver. “How can people get better education when the minister of that department is watching dance videos of Indian actresses on his iPad during the budget session?” she said.

When Rashdi finished her ‘budget speech’, Pir Mazharul Haq stood up. “It is very unfortunate that people who have been elected are not even aware of modern requirements in education and the value of watching Indian dance in creating a soft image of Pakistan. Such children must not be allowed to enter the assembly,” he said in a scathing rebuttal.

He further said "I am doing research in dance education as I want to introduce this subject in the schools and colleges of Sindh. I feel that watching Katrina Kaif or Farah Khan dance really refreshes the soul."

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Zawahiri sworn in as Al Qaeda Chief with 110% votes.

Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri sworn in as Al Qadea Chief to succeed the slain Osama bin Laden. Zawahiri secured 110% votes, and vowed there will be no let up in its “jihad against the invading armies and ...”.

“The election commissioner of Al Qaeda announces, after voting and consultations with all the one and half dozen Al Qaeda fighters throughout the world, the appointment of Sheikh Ayman al-Zawahiri as head of the group. Zawahiri secured 110% votes, the 10% additional weightage of Sheikh Osama bin Laden Shaheed's advance vote was also counted,” the network said in statement posted on a militant website.

The fight would continue “until all invading armies leave the land of Islam”.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Zardari wants Bilalwal to become a Sufi Saint

President Asif Ali Zardari plans to spend a considerable time to “monasticize” his son Bilawal, who heads the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) as chairman, as he returns home in September after finishing his studies at Oxford University.

“He also requires to know about Makhdoom Bilawal Samo, Baba Bulleh Shah, Shah Bhatai and other Sufi saints, especially he must learn about Makhdoom Samo on whose name me and BB sahiba have named him. It was a desire of BB sahiba that Bilawal follows Makhdoom Samo and become a Sufi” Zardari said according to a visitor to the Presidency. Recently, the Presidency announced that Bilawal would not be given any political responsibility in the PPP in near future.

Before taking up his political role, Bilawal, accompanied by PPP Secretary General Jehangir Badr, would visit Tibet, China. The main agenda of his tour is to visit Budhist monasteries and meet monks to learn different arts of

Sources said that the President is very impressed with the political influence of different political "Makhdooms", like Ameen Fahim, Yousaf Raza Gilani, Shah Mahmood, Javed Hashmi, and Faisal Saleh Hayat etc. And wishes that his son will also enjoy the same following once he becomes a Sufi saint.

Monday, June 13, 2011

IMF cyber-attack is a case of French Revenge

The International Monetary Fund, the inter-governmental group that oversees the global financial system and brings together 187 member nations, has become the latest known target of a significant cyber attack. It has been suspected that the furious French supports of former IMF Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn might have launched this assault on IMF for taking revenge for his humiliating exit.

The whole France feels dishonored after the Strauss-Kahn episode. Because the plea proceedings were carried live on French TV, and his lawyers were swift to paint his plea as some sort of grandiose proof of his innocence in and of itself.  "He pleaded not guilty," his lawyer said afterwards, assign, "That is a very eloquent, powerful statement that he made that denies the charges." 

In such an atmosphere, there are a lot of chances that some angry supporters and sympathizers of Strauss-Kahn might have decided to take revenge from IMF for his humiliating exit.

"It was a targeted attack," said Tom Kellerman, who has worked for both
the Washington-headquartered IMF and the World Bank, its sister institution, and who serves on the board of a group known as the International Cyber Security Protection Alliance. The code used in the IMF incident was developed specifically for the attack on the institution, said Kellerman, formerly responsible for cyber-intelligence within the World Bank's treasury team and now chief technology officer at Air Patrol, a cyber consultancy.

IMF spokesman David Hawley said Saturday the Fund was "fully functional," despite the attack. "I can confirm that we are investigating an incident," he said, adding that he was not in a position to elaborate on the extent of it. He declined to respond to requests for comment on Kellerman's conclusion about the intruders' goal.

The US Federal Bureau of Investigation is helping to investigate the attack on the IMF, according to a US Defense Department spokeswoman.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Aisam finally wins a finale

Pakistani Tennis start Aisam ul Haq has finally won a final after ending up as runner-up in six straight finals. The top seeded duo of Aisam ul Haq and his Indian partner Rohan Bopanna defeated Dutch Robin Haase and Canadian Milos Raonic in the final of the Gerry Webber Open in Halle, Germany.

Hoti says drone is such a hottie : US Cable

Chief Minister Khyber Pakhtunkhuwa Ameer Haider Khan Hoti appreciates drone attacks and he also wishes to fly a personal drone, according to the whistle blower Wikileaks’ disclosure of Peshawar US Counsel Principal Officer’s cable.

Peshawar U.S. Counsel Principal Officer Tracy’s cable dated April 30, 2009 sent to Washington said that Ameer Haider Khan Hoti has appreciated the drone attacks, but he (Hoti) is coward enough not to support it in public.

Hoti further revealed that drones are very hot and he is a fan of drone flying as it resembles kite flying. He also wished to fly a personal drone during Basant festival at Peshawar.

Watch out people, I am a Sheikh : Hafeez Sheikh

Pakistan's Finance Minister Dr. Abdul Hafeez Sheikh has said that he is prepared to take tough decisions as he takes perverse pleasure in being unpopular. When it comes to concessions for public, then he has the special ability to do dour and grumpy miser, after all he is a Sheikh.

The Finance Minster has clearly signaled that there's no room for Mr or Mrs Nice if the country is to be dragged out of this economic mess. Don't tell me that the worst is over or that we've turned a corner. I know it's bad and that it will most likely get worse before genuine green shoots appear.

In his Budget speech 2011 - 2012 the Finance Minister laid it on the line.

"Don't be mistaken, I am a Sheikh, and I know that there is no room at all for soft options. On the contrary, it is in all our interests that the Government follows a very strict discipline. There can be no concessions to public and all sections of the society will have to bear some of the burden."

Pak-Afghan consensus that Rehman Malik is a lier : US Cable

Afghan Minister of Interior Hanif Atmar told US Deputy Ambassador in Kabul that we are in total agreement with the Pakistani people that his Pakistani counterpart Rehman Malik is an outright lier and he does that for pleasing his masters.

US Deputy Ambassador in Kabul, Francis J. Ricciardone in 8/19/2009 secret cable from Embassy of Kabul wrote details of his meeting with Afghanistan Interior Minister Hanif Atmar.

The cable said: "Atmar said that Pakistani Interior Minister Rehman Malik raised this issue when he visited Afghanistan last month as a special emissary of President Asif Ali Zardari; but, contrary to Malik's claims to the Pakistani media, he had presented neither details nor evidence to support this assertion. Atmar said the move was an indication that Malik is trying to please his masters by showing that he was brave enough to say these things to President Karzai. However, the Afghan government feels that Rehman Malik's reputation in Pakistan,
of being an outright lier is justified".

"He added that he was disappointed by several other factually incorrect comments Malik has made to the media, and that he seemed to be focused on everything but the points of discussion in the upcoming trilateral talks between Pakistan, Afghanistan and the U.S. scheduled for November."

Atmar held a press conference on August 2 to dispute several of Malik's allegations. He also challenged Malik's comments that Afghanistan initially was opposed to the installation of biometrics collection stations at border crossing points. Afghanistan has never been against it, and Afghanistan is against selectivity, Atmar told the media.

Zardari promised to become Musharraf's body guard : US Cable

Asif Ali Zardari had promised to the Army to safe guard former President Pervaiz Musharraf for getting himself elected as President, said a US Embassy cable leaked by WikiLeaks.

The secret US Embassy cable sent to Washington on August 27, 2008 highlights how PPP was involved in political scheming to get Zardari elected on President’s post.

PPP deputy secretary general Sheikh Mansoor in a meeting with US Charge d’Affairs Jerry Feierstein on August 27, 2008 admitted that his party leadership,would work on getting immunity for former President Pervaiz Musharraf once its Co-Chairperson Asif Zardari was elected Pakistan’s President on September 6.

Mansoor recognized that Zardari would have to make good on his promise to the Army to safe guard former President Pervaiz Musharraf and to grant him constitutional immunity, but said such a bill would be presented to the National Assembly only after Zardari became President.

Lastly, Mansoor claimed that protecting Musharraf will not be possible without implementing PPP's minus-one formula, i.e. reinstatement of deposed judges except former Supreme Court Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry. 

However, Feierstein finally mentioned that Zardari doesn't have any credibility, therefore he can not be trusted.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Musharraf is wanted; not for high treason but for not providing security to Benazir

An anti-terrorism court (ATC) in Rawalpindi has issued non-bailable arrest warrant against former President General (Retired) Pervaiz Musharraf in Benazir Bhutto’s  murder case. 

It should however be mentioned that Pervaiz Musharraf who abrogated and subverted the Constitution of Pakistan multiple times has never been charged or trailed in accordance with the High Treason Punishment Act, as well as under Article 6 of the Constitution

In the proceedings of BB murder case, the petitioner told the court that even after being summoned and proclaimed as offender, Musharraf did not appear in the court, therefore, the court should give orders to confiscate his property.

While taking notice, the ATC issued permanent non-bailable arrest warrant against former president and ordered to submit details of his movable and immovable property in the court.

Atiqa Odho booked for wine

The Airport Security Force have booked glamorous actress Atiqa Odho for carrying wine in her luggage while traveling from Islamabad to Karachi. She was kept in custody for about an hour.

An official of Airport Security Force has said the matter was settled with mutual consent and no need was felt to inform the police as the value of recovered liquor was very little.

However, Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry took a suo moto notice, which resulted in lodging of an FIR (464) on behalf of an Assistant Collector Pakistan Customs in the Airport Police Station.

On the other hand, All Pakistan Mulsim League representative has said that Atiqa Odho's incident is a conspiracy for discrediting APML and PML (N) is behind her wine addiction.

Friday, June 10, 2011

US wants to sabotage Pakistani nuclear facilities : Ahmadinejad

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said that US wants to sabotage Pakistan's nuclear facilities.

"I want to alert Pakistan and the people of Pakistan, that we have precise information that America wants to sabotage the Pakistani nuclear facilities in order to control Pakistan and to weaken the government and people of Pakistan," the President said.

The United States would then use the UN Security Council "and some other international bodies as levers to prepare the ground for a massive presence in Pakistan and weaken the national sovereignty of Pakistan," he added.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Rehman Malik gave Rangers the License to Kill

Federal Interior Minister Rehman Malik has given Pakistan Rangers and other law enforcement agencies the License to Kill. 

Speaking on the grave law and order situation in the country, the Interior Minister said that "I have given permission to the law enforcement agencies for conducting an on-spot investigation whenever they find a suspect terrorist or a criminal. And if they feel that the crime can be established, then they can even shoot to kill."

Moreover, he told the media that the youth shot dead by Rangers in Karachi tried to snatch the belongings of a female and the public along with the guard of the park caught him and handed him over to the Rangers. The Rangers conducted a swift on-spot inquiry and found out that the murdered youth was involved in criminal activities and was part of a gang of eight criminals. Therefore, the Rangers gave capital punishment to the deceased.


Update 18th June: Public Prosecutor, Irshad Iqbal Cheema submitted the Challan before the Anti-Terrorism Court of Justice Maqbool Baqir who referred the case to Anti-Terrorism Court Number 1.

Later, on the Public Prosecutor said the police have gathered fourteen pieces of solid evidence in connection with the case including a government weapon, blood-soaked clothes of Sarfraz Shah and a cell phone of Rangers.

Update 29th June: The seven accused (including six Rangers) in the Sarfraz Shah murder case have been indicted by an Anti-Terrorism Court, while the accused pleaded not guilty.

Update 12th August: The Anti-Terrorism Court has announced its verdict in the Sarfraz Shah killing case. According to the verdict, Rangers person Shahid Zafar who shot Sarfraz Shah was awarded the death sentence while the remaining six accused were sentenced to life in prison. 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Gilani's gratitude towards Bangle-Throwing Ladies

PM Yousaf Raza Gilani has shown his gratitude towards the Bangle-Throwing Ladies from opposition parties. The PM said "I am very grateful to all those ladies, who have thrown bangles towards me and Dr. Sheikh. This is a good tradition, as it helps in collecting stylish bangles."

At a question that why does he collect bangles and what will he do with these bangles? PM Gilani said "I am a democratic person by nature and I believe in keeping every one happy. Therefore, I will put these bangles in expensive jewelry boxes and send these gifts to my favorite actresses Angelina Julie and Aishwarya Rai."

Friday, June 3, 2011

Afridi announces retirement for becoming Pakistan's Bating Coach

Boom Boom Afridi, Pakistan's recently axed one-day captain, has announced his retirement from the international game. It is, however, a retirement in protest against the way his team mates have batted against Ireland at Belfast.

Afridi a naturally aggressive hard hitting batsman felt humiliated by his former team mates, he said angrily "There is nothing bigger than a man's respect, I have felt humiliated by the manner in which the Doom Doom Quartet of Misbah-ul-Haq, Younas Khan, Taufeeq Umar and Azhar Ali have batted against Ireland. Can you believe, that these ultra-slow and ultra-caucious players were fielded against minnows in a 21st century one day game? Are we still living in the 80? Were they facing Clive Loyed's West Indian side? There is a limit to everything..."

"The way they have batted... the future doesn't look too good. I can't let this continue... so, I have decided to become Pakistan Batting Coach and teach the Doom Doom Quartet a batting lesson... hopefully they will learn how to play aggressive cricket." said Afridi.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Hippo is declared as MQM's party symbol

The MQM wants to adapt itself to the politico-social context of Punjab, which is very different from that of Sindh. The idioms and symbols of politics in urban Sindh are not applicable to the political landscape in Punjab. The party felt that there was confusion among voters due to non-resemblance between MQM Chief Altaf Hussain and kite (electoral symbol allotted to MQM previously). A section of party leaders also felt that kite symbol was not auspicious, due to its non-violent nature.

Therefore, MQM Rabita Committee came up with the suggestion of 'Hippo' as MQM's new party symbol, because it resembles Quaid-e-Tehrik Altaf Hussain Bhai, and it also reflect MQM's violent nature.

The party's response to this suggestion was unanimously in favor, everyone was chanting "Hippo Hippo Hurray, Hippo Hippo Hurray" and Hippo was immediately adopted as MQM's party symbol.