Thursday, March 31, 2011

Diesel attacked twice in 24 hours

If you are thinking that diesel is being attacked due to increasing petroleum prices? Then surely you are mistaken.

It's actually Malulana Diesel (Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman) who is under attack. Fortunately he has survived, but dozens of innocent people have been killed. No one has claimed responsibility as yet, but he might have been attacked due to his hypocritic politics or his unusual aggressive stance on Kashmir (I say this because the so called TTP is on the Indian payroll).

I have failed to digest this defeat and am suffering from gastroenteritis : Spectator named "Fidvi"

I have failed to digest this defeat and am suffering from gastroenteritis which is resulting in acute diarrhea : Spectator named "Fidvi"

Moreover, he said that "I am also suffering from another disease. No, it's not a kind of fever that starts with 'c', it's influenza that I am suffering from, and it is caused by pollens in Islamabad."

Afridi to take tips from Taylor on hitting full tosses

Boom Boom Afridi is thinking of taking tips from Ross Taylor on hitting full tosses out of the park. He disclosed this after he failed to dispatch a juicy full toss from Harbajan Singh and only manged to sky his shot which was eventually caught with in the 30-yard circle. So, he wants to increase his "juicy full toss hitting ability" by about 400 percent.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Misbah says he hasn't got out playing a paddle sweep today

(Mohali) When Misbah reached the dressing room after playing yet another losing stroke against India, every body raised his hand, off course with a shoe for slapping Misbah. But before any body could throw a shoe towards him, he shouted "Noah noah noah, iit wasn't mee, infaact iit was fiju (Hafeez) who has got aout playing a paaddle sweeep today. I was caaught playing a lofted shot at long aon. Iif yoou dan't balieve mee, I can show yoou the viideo that I was caaught at long aon..."

Gul received tips from Shoaib before the match : Report

(Mohali) It has been learnt from unreliable sources that Pakistani pacer Umer Gul received some bowling tips from senior pro Shoaib Akhtar before the match. His performance, especially perfect full tosses and non stop rubbish bowling showed that he has quickly learnt and mastered this trade and will carry Shoaib's legacy forward.

Younas used all his experience in chewing gum and naswar

Pakistan's most experience batsman Younas Khan used all his experience in chewing gum and naswar today. When asked about his favorite gum and naswar, he replied "Aah, I like ding dong chewing gum and bannu ka kala naswar. Thoo (As he spitted another gum)".

Pakistan's misery has ended in a familiar fashion

Pakistan's misery in the world cup semi final has ended, in a familiar fashion by the hands of Indian cricket team, as history has repeated itself and India has stormed into the final of World Cup 2011.

Coincidentally, there were a few similarities between Bangalore 1996 and Mohali 2011.

1. Bangalore match was the second quarter final, and Mohali match was the second semi final. Moreover, India batted first on both occasions.

2. Then Sidhu top scored with 93 off 115 balls and now Tendulkar top scored with 85 of 115 balls.

3. Then Jadeja smashed 45 of 25 balls and now Sehwag smashed 38 of 25 balls.

4. Then Jadeja slammed Waqar for 22 in his last over and now Sehwaq slammed Gul for 21 in his second over.

5. When the chase was on a cruising track, then Amir Sohail threw his wicket away, and now Hafeez threw his wicket away.

6. Then the most experienced batting pair in Pakistani lineup, Javed Miandad and Saleem Malik have collectively labored 76 of 114 balls, and now Younis Khan and Misbah ul Haq have collectively labored 69 of 108 balls.

7. Then Rashid Latif fought with 26 of 25 balls and now Umar Akmal fought with 29 of 24 balls.

8. Then India won by 39 runs and now India won by 29 runs.

9. On both occasions India went ahead to face co-hosts Srilanka.

It will be great to see the coincidences continuing in the next game as well.




Misbah it's not a test match, its a World Cup Semi Final you are playing in.

Someone needs to tell Misbah that it's a World Cup Semi Final, and not the final session of a test match, that you are trying to save.

Gilani leads 45-member team to Mohali

Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani is leading a 45-member team in Mohali. However, it is not known how many members Gilani's counter part and host Manmohan Singh will lead?

Moreover, it will be difficult to mention the names of all team members of Mr. Gilani due to space limitations off course. Some important members who are accompanying PM Gilani are PML-Q chief Shujaat Hussain, MQM leader Farooq Sattar and ANP's Asfandyar Wali. Other politicians who are part of PM entourage include Interior Minister Rehman Malik, Ahmed Mukhtar, Khursheed Shah, Engineer Shoukatullah, Firdous Ashiq Awan and Hina Rabbani Khar.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Kiwis can't fly beyond the semis

Kiwis can't fly beyond the semis

Indians fear Pakistan's opening bowlers - especially Hafeez

The Indian batsmen have always feared Pakistan's opening bowlers - Fazal Mahmood, Imran Khan, Sarfraz Nawaz, Waseem Akram, Waqar Younas, Shoaib Akhtar, but that applies to the last century only, because by the dawn of the millennium, the fear of Pakistani bowlers faded away. However, a decade into the 21st century, the Indians are now afraid of facing the most fearsome opening bowler Pakistan has ever produced, i.e. Muahmmad Hafeez.

Tomorrow at Mohali, Tendulkar will improve his record of finishing on the losing side most often

The infamous leader of the pack of players mostly finishing on the losing side, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar will improve his record tomorrow at Mohali in the World Cup Cricket 2011 Semi Final against arch rivals Pakistan after losing yet another game.

He currently hold the record by finishing on the losing side in 195 ODIs. No matter his progress is slow these days when compared to the leaps he has covered in the earlier part of his career, but still it seems he will be the first person to score a double hundred of loses in ODIs.

Imran to keep more vigilant eye on Rehman Malik than on Pakistan team

Imran Khan said he would keep more vigilant eye on Rehman Malik than on Pakistan cricket team.

Earlier, Rehman Malik warned the Pakistan cricket team against what happened in London in the past, saying strict action would be initiated this time in case something like that repeated in the upcoming match against India. 

Imran Khan termed the Interior Minister’s statement as highly disappointing, however, he said the national team must not have got a chance to hear it because, he added, the team had a lot more important thing to do.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Pakistan team is preparing for the fearsome battle

Pakistan team is preparing for the fearsome battle with arch rivals India in Mohali. Both Shoaib and Afridi are veterans of the famous encounter with India at Eden Gardens as part of Asian Test Championship 1998. In that game the players twice went back to the pavilion after missile-throwing by the crowd and consequently the police removed the crowd to resume the match in am empty stadium. This time the police might be too busy in safe guarding the Premiers though.

Pakistan team may also seek Mike Tyson's help as well.

Indian physio is working hard to to get Pathan, Patel and Nehra unfit in time before the semi

As a desperate attempt to field the best possible combination in semi final against Pakistan. Indian physio is working hard to to get Pathan, Patel and Nehra unfit in time before the semi, otherwise it might will be too late. Moreover, it will be a big bonus to have Chawla unfit as well.

When contacted the team management replied that "Yes, it's a big concern that these players have not had their justified share of injuries at all."

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Kamran Akmal finally has some competition behind the stumps

It seems, Kamran Akmal's position as an absolution jerk behind the stumps is in serious danger, as Matt Prior the English wicketkeeper failed to collect the ball many a times behind stumps against Srilanka in the World Cup Quarter Final. Prior felt so harsh and selfish after scoring 22 runs against the Lankans that he returned almost half of those runs as buys.

Graeme Swann looks disappointed after the ball for the second time, went through Prior's legs for four buys.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A repeatation of 1996 Quarter Final?

The history has repeated it self, as Srilanka has embarrassed England yet again in a World Cup Quarter Final. Fifteen years ago when these two teams first met in a World Cup Quarter Final in Faisalabad, it was the brutality of Jayasuria, that stunned England, and today it was the Srilankan opening pair that has set an emphatic victory at home turf.

Friday, March 25, 2011

The World Champion will be decided in Mohali, and only the trophy will be handed over in Mumbai

The champion of World Cup Cricket 2011 will be decided in Mohali, and only the trophy will be handed over in Mumbai.

نَصْرٌ مِّن اللَّهِ وَفَتْحٌ قَرِيبٌ 

The "Chokers" have choked again

The Proteas, correction "The Chokers" have choked again. It was rain in 1992, Lara's brilliance in 1996, madness in 1999, a combination of rain and miscalculation in 2003 and madness plus pressure today.

South Africa's increasing list of World Cup Cricket tragedies just got longer.

How the phrase "Throws the kitchen sink" evolved?


The phrase "Throws the kitchen sink" should actually be spelled as 'Kitchen Cinq,' 'cinq' being of course French for 5. In the Olympic cricket final of 1908, between England and France, one Stanley Kitchen needed to score quite quickly, but didn't want to risk lofting the ball over the field. His solution was to pick out the longest boundary and hit the ball with just enough power so that it didn't reach the boundary before the batsmen had run five. His success was such that the ploy was named after him."

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Australia, the defending champions have bowed down against India

Australia, the defending champions, with a run of four consecutive finals and three straight titles, have bowed down against India in Ahmadabad.

Defending champions bruised out of the World Cup

Australia, the defending champions are bruised out of the World Cup after twelve years that includes three consecutive titles.

Michael Yardy, the England spin all rounder, has been withdrawn from the World Cup after suffering from "depression"

Michael Yardy fields during England's training session, Bangalore, February 26, 2011

Michael Yardy, the England spin all rounder, has been withdrawn from the World Cup after suffering from "depression". May be he has had enough of those close finishes.

Ponting watched videos of his fearsome century in World Cup Cricket Finale 2003 at Johannesburg, in the hope that it will help him reproduce something similar in Ahmedabad

Australian Captain, Ricket Ponting watched videos of his fearsome century in World Cup Cricket Finale 2003 at Johannesburg, in the hope that it will help him reproduce something similar in Ahmedabad.

Libya following the footsteps of Iraq towards devastation

Libya following the footsteps of Iraq towards devastation, as the allies have started to pound Libya, no thanks to their selfish leaders.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Pakistan literally served a "knockout punch" in a knockout game

Pakistan literally served West Indies, with a "knockout punch" in a knockout game of World Cup Cricket 2011.
 

Pakistan leveled score with West Indies after 19 years

Pakistan leveled score with West Indies after 19 years, i.e. Pakistan was defeated by 10 wickets by West Indies in World Cup Cricket 1992.

Bengales were cheering as if Pakistan was settling their score again West Indies

Bengales were cheering as if Pakistan was settling their score again West Indies, who belted Bangladesh in the same manner earlier.

Good performance by Pakistan at Sher-e-Bangla Stadium on Sher-e-Bangal's Resolution Day

Good performance by Pakistan at Sher-e-Bangla Stadium on Sher-e-Bangal's Resolution Day, i.e. Pakistan Resolution Day.

General Kayani condemned the predator strike on Waziristan

General Kayani condemned the predator strike on Waziristan. But unfortunately, he is the only Military Chief in the world who condemns enemy attacks instead of retaliating.

The cancer of match fixing is spreading in all spheres of life.

Imran Khan is very upset at the release of Ramond Davis the double murderer in cold blood. Imran said that "The match was fixed". Moreover, he also said that this match was played between too many teams.

First successful chase in a World Cup match since the 1999 semi-final against New Zealand in Manchester.

Group Match against Zimbabwe is Pakistan's first successful chase in a World Cup match since the 1999 semi-final against New Zealand in Manchester.

Yet again Pakistani batsmen were out of source against left arm spin

In the group game of World Cup Cricket 2011 against Zimbabwe. Yet again the Pakistani batsmen showed poor technique, and were out of source against left arm spin.

Today Kamran Akmal catches Taylor early

Today in a World Cup Cricket 2011 match against Zimbabwe, Kamran Akmal cautches Taylor early. But this Taylor has a first name 'Brendon' instead of 'Ross'.
Kamran Akmal Kamran Akmal of Pakistan atemps to catch out Daniel Vettori of the Blackcaps during game four of the One Day International Series between New Zealand and Pakistan at McLean Park on February 1, 2011 in Napier, New Zealand.

Why England players have been engineering close finishes?

England players have been engineering close finishes in order to produce a more entertaining post-tournament review DVD. Perhaps they are hoping for an Oscar nomination.

Pakistan cricket team continues to beat itself about the cranium with a pan called Kamran

Imagine a man who wakes up one day and wonders what would happen if he hit himself on the head with a frying pan. He tries it; it hurts. Fair enough, you live and learn. But then a little while later, he wonders if he made too hasty a judgment. So he does it again; and it hurts again. Yet, for reasons impossible to fathom, the Pakistan cricket team continues to beat itself about the cranium with a pan called Kamran.

Why did Kamran Akmal have to walk back to the team hotel after the match?

Why did Kamran Akmal have to walk back to the team hotel after the match? Because he failed to catch the bus.

Every drop counts

Kamran Akmal could be a good brand ambassador for "Save Water" campaign. "Every drop counts".

The most badly rated person in Pakistan...

According to the latest survey, Mr. Zardari is not the most badly rated person in Pakistan, in fact it is Mr. Kamran Akmal who has taken over as the most badly rated person in Pakistan.

The headless bowler

Only a headless bowler can gift consecutive full tosses to a set batsman. Because common sense, which normally resides in human skull, always tells that don't repeat a mistake again and again and again and again.

This snap was taken before the match at Pallekele cricket stadium, where Shoaib Akhter played his last international game against New Zealand in World Cup 2011, and was murdered for 29 runs in the last over he bowled in his career.

Oh boy, this record may stand for ever.