Saturday, April 30, 2011

Chaudhry brothers accept Zahoor Elahi's blood money

Chaudhry brothers have decided in principle to accept Zahoor Elahi's blood money from Paksitan People's Party (PPP).

According to sources, nearly all the issues have been settled and negotiations entered in final stage between the two parties as President Asif Ali Zardari has accepted the demand of Chaudhry brothers for the slot of Deputy Prime Minister.

The sources said that Chaudhry brothers have demanded seven federal ministries besides their state ministers and governorship in Punjab or Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, along with advisorship in Sindh, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Baluchistan and Gilgit Baltistan governments. The ministries that they demanded included foreign, water and power, petroleum and communication. Moreover, Mushahid Hussain Syed of PML-Q will be appointed as Pakistan's permanent envoy to the United Nations.

According to the agreement, President Asif Ali Zardari has assured five ministries. The sources further said this power sharing formula would be announced following the signing of a written agreement between the two parties.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Mulla Sarkozy is leading the "French Taliban"

France which purports to triumph liberalism and freedom above all, has enforced a bias and incongruous law. Even more absurd than the law itself is the rationale on which it stands, and it looks more a Taliban law, then a law passed by the so called democrats.

French government started enforcing a ban on all face-covering veils in the public square. It is universally recognized that this law specifically targets the practice of religious Muslim women who wear what is known as a niqab. The text of the law itself is worded to carefully avoid any explicit mention of Islam or women. Nevertheless, this law undoubtedly prohibits a particular population from exercising their full religious beliefs.

French President "Mulla" Nicolas Sarkozy has been one of the prime proponents of the recent "burka ban," as it has come to be known. He has said that the law is an effort to defend women's rights and protect their freedom.

Last year, with just one vote short of unanimous support, the law was easily pushed through the Mulla Sarkozy's Shura, i.e. Parliament of France. At that time he claimed that the niqab and the burka represent the subjugation of women.

By enacting this law, the French government is contributing to a frightening wave of Islamophobia sweeping across Europe and the United States. While a similar law is unlikely to ever be enacted here, the new French edict is symbolic of bigotry and xenophobia.

do you recognize taliban

Sunday, April 24, 2011

"No more drones" said Imran Khan as he sat in Peshawar

Chairman Tehreek-e-Insaf along with his party workers and supporters gathered at the Peshawar ring road Saturday evening and staged a two days long sit-in, aiming to block the route used by Nato supply trucks, against US drone strikes in tribal areas.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Pakistan Cricket's Pattern In-chief has decided to inject fresh blood in Oil & Gas sector

Pakistan's exit from Cricket World Cup 2011 at the hands of arch rival India in traditional manner, has prompted Pakistan Cricket's Pattern In-chief - President Asif Ali Zardari to inject fresh blood in Oil & Gas sector. President's spokesman said that "It is the need of time that we build   proper fueling system for our Batting Machine, because it runs out of gas very frequently and especially during the knockout stage  of an international event. Therefore, it has been decided to restructure the Oil & Gas sector, and  for moving forward  we have assigned this job to Dr. Asim Hussain".

When Dr. Asim who is a foreign qualified Orthopedic Surgeon was contacted, he said that "I specialize in squeezing & extracting oil from the bones of my patients, and I will not let any stone unturned in my effort to extract oil from the bones of ordinary Pakistanis. Moreover, I have also been assigned the job to inject fresh blood in the Oil and Gas industry, and it is an established fact that the blood of Pakistanis is full of filth and is not up to the international stand of sucking. Therefore, I have made arrangements for injecting fresh blood  in oil and gas companies from abroad. And they will be asked to carry on the squeezing of Pakistanis in professional fashion."

Where as off the record he said that "I belong to a 'tailee' family, and we have been extracting oil from different substances for generations."

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Government should sell narcotics : Haji Adeel

Seneator Haji Adeel who is famous for his drunk statements has said that "The government should sell Narcotics, instead of disposing them off". He also said that "This will be beneficial for the government in a bid for increasing their revenue as well as for the 'rangeen mizaj' people like me who are in constant need of a bottle". He went one step ahead and offered his brokerage services to the government and said that "I can also assist the government in finding suitable buyers like clubs, pubs and hotels. Moreover, I am also willing to launch a joint venture..."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Biden says "Obama is the most boring speaker"

The American Vice President Joe Biden says that "Sleeping during President Obama's speech is absolutely necessary because he delivers very boring speeches especially when they are related to monetary matters".

Biden was attending President Barack Hussain Obama's speech on Wednesday at George Washington University where Biden was caught on camera nodding off while the President spoke about ways to get the nation's money problems under control.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Man who lives on Bhutto's death

Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto (Former Pakistani PM) died a third of a century ago, but there is known person in this world who is living his political life on Bhutto's death.

Rather inhumanly, he celebrated Bhutto's death because he was a die hard worker of Bhutto's opposing party, and now for gaining political leverage he has resigned from the post of Law Minister and is pleading Bhutto's case.

Yes, your guess is absolutely correct, he is none other than Dr. Babar Awan (also known as Dr. Fake).

Update 30th December: Senator Dr Babar Awan has been nominated Vice President of Pakistan Peoples Party, it was approved by PPP Co-Chairman and President Asif Ali Zardari.

Monday, April 11, 2011

MQM's "Rental Rally" in Punjab

Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) held a "Rental Rally" in Lahore on Sunday, as most of the participants were brought from Karachi. MQM spent so lavishly that they booked almost all the rooms in (certainly) all the five star hotel in Lahore, the identification of people boarded in these rooms proved that they were all from Karachi (Certainly, there isn't any place in the world where locals live in hotels). It proved to be the most expensive rally in the country’s political history, where millions of rupees were spent but the desired results could not be achieved. And even though the distance between the stage and the seating was about half of the football stadium, but still (despite of having this ahead start) MQM wasn't able to fill the remaining part of the stadium as only 5000 to 7000 people attended the gathering. Moreover, MQM also offered free travelling & lunch to the participants.

Many critics were of the opinion that MQM rally in Lahore was a flop show.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fake degree holders have their hands on HEC's throat

After all the stubborn resilience HEC showed in fake degree verification process, now the fake degree holder parliamentarians are trying to settle the score and they have their hands on HEC's throat. This is an impending disaster looming in front of us. What has been decided by the cabinet (on the recommendation of a parliamentary committee on devolution headed by Raza Rabbani) is to tear higher education to shreds and hand over the pieces to the provinces, so that no once can challenge the eligibility of fake degree holders and they can continue the loot and plunder of this nation.

But What has not been realized by our policymakers is that the process of socio-economic development takes place through central strategic planning, which is intimately connected to a country’s higher education and science and technology programs. A multiplicity of standards and regulations would be disastrous. That is why the world over, including in India, higher education planning and funding is done centrally, even though universities are located in the provinces.

The situation and the politician's response to it -- is complex, with many different actors and agendas, and the future of a post-HEC Pakistan remains unclear. While this complexity must dictate the care we take in our actions, for the sake of tens of thousands of students obtaining higher education and for the future of our beloved country, it cannot, it must not, render us inactive. Let's make the best choice we can, and act, now.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Doctors turned devils

Doctors should act like messiahs and not as death merchants or gold plated mercenaries once and for all. Subjecting doctors to Compulsory Service Law and thus disallowing the option to strike is indeed a necessary measure by the provincial government. The protection of human live must take precedence over any other consideration, and it should be kept as simple as that.

The Punjab government has decided to terminate the services of striking doctors. It should however be said that even the licenses of those doctors be revoked whose professional-aloofness may have led to the unnecessary deaths or in fact committal murders of dozens of innocent patients, on whose taxes they studied and reached this noble position.

Doctors, young or old, striving for whatever legitimate right (The young doctors in Punjab draw much more salary than their counter parts in other provinces), do not have the luxury of looking the other way when a patient arrives in the emergency ward.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Tear of India was left in tears by India

Srilanka also known as "Tear of India" was left in tears by India, as the Indians have defeated the Lankans by 6 wickets in the final of the World Cup Cricket 2011 at Mumbai.

Indian team lifted the world cup and became the world champion for the second time since 1983. On the other hand, this is the second consecutive time that Srilanka turned up to be the runner up in a world cup.