Baji-Budget

After this mini budget aka Baji-Budget it is certain that in current financial year Pakistan will have the largest fiscal deficit in country's history and a larger federal deficit as percentage of GDP than the last 5 years.

Government hasn’t revealed how it plans to plug this huge hole? Printing more money would increase inflation, while getting more debt would increase taxes in future?

Contradictory Judgements

Sheikh Rashid mentioned 983-kanal agricultural land in the nomination papers for the 2013 general elections while he actually owned 1,081-kanal agricultural land.

Similarly, Sheikh Rashid showed the purchase of one-kanal land in the Bahria Gold City for over Rs10million when the booking price of the land was over Rs48million, whereas the current market price of the same land was around Rs60million.

However, Justice Azmat Saeed Sheikh, who earlier disqualified Nawaz Sharif for not declaring a receivable salary, took a contradictory stance in Sheikh Rashid's case and didn't find anything wrong in non declaration of almost 100 kanal agricultural land along with undervaluation of residential property by Rs50million.

Chairman NAB, pack your bag

NAB sources told that it’s rare that a press release is issued in regard to an in-house order for the verification of a complaint. “This has been done a day before the executive committee of the NAB meets in Islamabad to discuss such matters,” a source said.

The source added that some most relevant officers in the Bureau did not know about this development as the direction to make the matter public before even its verification, came from the chairman’s office.

Construction, destruction and reconstruction in Peshawar Metro project

The never ending cycle of construction, destruction and reconstruction in Peshawar Metro project proves that Pakistan's biggest problems are incompetence and mismanagement, creating opportunities for corruption and embezzlement.

Hollow argument of priorities

"It's all about priorities", is a sentence commonly heard from parrots. However, the priorities are rather contradictory and confusing, such as

"Bring peace first then play cricket in Pakistan. But improve sports first to bring peace."

"Provide ambulances and school buses first then improve roads infrastructure. But improve roads and transport infrastructure first then provide public transport."

Tax Evading Taxis

A notification by the Punjab Transport Authority stated that Uber, Careem and A-One taxi services are illegally using private vehicles for transportation. This, in turn, was causing the provincial government financial losses. They further added that private cars were being used to provide taxi services without the issuance of the mandatory car-fitness certificate and route permit.

The notification further added that security clearance of drivers was also not sought from the government hence stern action would be taken against such companies.

Pakistani winners lose by 39 runs

Pakistan's bid for a world-record chase fell a mere 40 runs short, allowing Australia to exhale after coming close to coughing up a match they had dominated over the first four days and nights at the Brisbane Cricket Ground, commonly known as the Gabba.

Late middle order batsman, Asad Shafiq's sublime century and sturdy support from tailender Yasir Shah took Australia close to their wit's end, but a Mitchell Starc short ball did for Shafiq when the visitors needed only 41 runs to steal the most fanciful of victories. Three balls later, Smith struck the final blow, running out Yasir from slip after the number 10 wandered out of his crease and ending a match that had seemed destined for a much wider margin.

Panama-gate Hearing - A Game of Chess

The first hearing of cases related to Panama-gate scandal in Supreme Court, after admission of petitions, turned out to be a game of chess, where both the respondents and the petitioners tried to hold their card close to their chests.

The respondents lawyer only submitted a reply on behalf of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's response, completely denying the allegations, while asking for precious time from Supreme Court for submitting premier's children responses, who are the actual owners of companies involved in panama-gate. This non submission of responses will leave the petitioner's lawyers with less time for presenting their counter arguments.

Afghanistan only considers Pakistan as her first cousin

Afghanistan doesn't consider Pakistan as her brother (or sister), rather she considers Pakistan as her first cousin.

In our (Afghani and Pakistani) societies, people mostly show jealousy towards their first cousins, but when they need help they always look towards their cousins. And cousins are generally helpful in time of need.

Government rejects Murad Ali Shah's signatures

Federal government has rejected Rangers extension summary in Sindh sighting reason that Chief Minister Sindh Qaim Ali Shah's name has been mistyped as Murad Ali Shah.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

British PM seeks Pakistani Spokesperson

British PM, Cameroon, has called on his Pakistani counter-part, Sharif, and asked for help in Panama-Leaks scandal.

Cameroon is interested in hiring services of Sharif's spokespersons.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Paksitan is West Indies

South Asia is referred as "Indies", by this definition the Western part of South Asia, Pakistan, should be called West Indies.

Congratulation Pakistanis, you have beaten India in a World T20 2016.

Note that Cherry Blossom is widely used in Pakistan, no matter if it replaces Fair & Lovely.

Commando on sick leave

Commando General Musharraf has been granted sick leave by the courts and executive of Pakistan.

CIA released Shabaz Taseer today

CIA released Shabaz Taseer today

Apparently Shabaz Taseer was kidnapped to ensure that Salman Taseer murder case cannot be settled with blood money, since it requires presence of all successors.

Interestingly, Shabaz Taseer was also given stipend to eat delicious food on his return

Accountability or Clean Chit Authority?

Khyber Pakhtunkhuwa Accountability Department function has been changed to Khyber Pakhtunkhuwa Clean Chit Issuance Authority.

Now the authority KPI would be to issue more and more clean chits to innocent politicians and bureaucrats.

General Raheel Sharif - The Army Chief for two countries

General Raheel Sharif has a unique honor of acting as Army Chief for two countries at the same time, that are, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

Thank you Raheel Sharif for doing so many jobs on one salary.

Gwadar should be declared Federal Territory

On 8 September 1958, Pakistan purchased the Gwadar enclave from Oman for 5.5 billion Rupees, effective 8 December 1958. 

Most of the money for the purchase came from donations, with Prince Sultan Mohammad Shah, the reigning Aga Khan, contributing the most. The government paid the remainder through taxes.The area was integrated into Balochistan province on 1 July 1977 as the Gwadar District subdivision.

Now on what basis some Baluch nationalists are asking for exclusive provincial right on Gwadar port, when it is clearly Pakistan government's constitutional and moral authority to control and benefit from Gwadar port?

Gawadar port should be built in Peshawar

Gawadar port should be built in Peshawar, and if federal government do not provide Pakhtunkhuwa with it's due right and do not demolish existing port in Gawadar, then the provincial government will be left with no option but to perform Kathack Dance and federal government will be solely responsible for this, announced Chief Minister Pakhtunkhuwa.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Shushma's Sartaj

Indian External Affairs Minister, Sushma Suraj, calls her Pakistani counterpart as "Sartaj".

APS Terrorists should be sent to Saudia before execution, ZZ Hamid

Terrorists involved in Army Public School attack should be sent to Saudi Arabia for red-back therapy before execution, ZZ Hamid demanded.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.