Saturday, December 27, 2014

Life-time Sajjada-Nasheen of Lal Masjid

Firebrand cleric Maulan Abdul Aziz is life-time Sajjada-Nasheen (Heredity Administrator) of Lal Masjid, and Lal Masjid has same status for Jihadis that Data Darbar has for Sufis.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

When our children needed you, you were too late

Pakistan Army Forces took 15 minutes to reach Army Public School, Peshawar, till then hundreds of innocent children lost their lives.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Halal Certified Metro Bus for Peshawar

Insaf Certification Authority has approved a Halal Certified Metro Bus Service for Peshawar. The Chairman of Insaf Certification Authority, Imran Khan, while talking to Anchor Shahzaib Khanzada revealed that a Halal Certified Metro Bus Service has been started in Peshawar, and unlike Lahore or Rawalpindi Metro Bus Services it will stay afoot, as a precondition for Halal Certification.

Earlier, Lahore & Rawalpindi Metro Bus Services were declared Haram, since they flew over elevated tracks violating Insaf Safety Standards.

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Monday, September 29, 2014

Imran Khan and his inspirational cousins

The protest by Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf has entered its sixth week with an end to the impasse no where in sight. 

Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Chairman Imran Khan however remain rooted his demands. Having termed Nawaz Sharif as the root cause of all the bad in the world while and reiterating stories of inspiration, Imran drew from his cousins, before thousands every evening.

Imran Khan starts the story from his visit to a cricket ground to watch a match played by his cousin former cricketer Javed Barki, and reveals the inspiration he got from his cousins Javed Barki and Majid Khan to become a world class cricketer. While he ends his story with details of inspiration he got from his recently discovered cousin Dr Tahir-ul-Qadri to become a champion of politics of agitation.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Zardari announces to become PPP's "Chaoo-Chairperson" (کھائو - چیئرپرسن)

Following the Lahore High Court verdict, that directs President Asif Ali Zardari to surrended the office of Pakistan Peoples Party co-chairperson, and decided to become Pakistan Peoples Party Chaoo-Chairperson (کھائو - چیئرپرسن).

Farhatullah Babar, Zardari's spokesman said that, "After the LHC verdict, we were left with no other choice but to create a non-political and corruption only post in PPP for President Zardari. As we know that President Zardari is good at Corruption or Khana Peena (کھانا پینا), therefore Pakistan Peoples Party's Central Executive Committee has decided to create a post of Chaoo-Chairperson (کھائو - چیئرپرسن) for the president". He further said that, "Due to the sensitivity of the matter President Zardari moved swiftly and created the post of Pakistan Peoples Party's Chaoo-Chairperson (کھائو - چیئرپرسن), which he immediately took over. This post will be non-political in nature and will not contradict with the dual-office law and related judgements". 

Earlier, a full bench of the Lahore High Court on 10 Mar 2011 had reserved the judgment on several petitions challenging holding of dual office by President Asif Ali Zardari, after leading counsel for petitioners in the case concluded his arguments. It may be noted that different benches of the high court have been hearing these petitions since 2009. In its verdict spread over 33 pages, the court said political activities cannot be held in the Presidency. The order said that the president was not supposed to perform political activities and was bound to be impartial, quoting several cases.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Imran Khan's Nostalgia

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!

Imran Khan says that "Musharraf's dictatorship was better than Nawaz Sharif's democracy".

However,he doesn't remember or he didn't want to recall that it was during that dark era that his sisters were disgraced and beaten by policemen.

Unbelievable isn't it?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Peshawar was Flooding while Khattak was Politicking

While "Shahan-e-Takht-e-Peshore", whole KPK Cabinet, is busy in extra-curricular (extra-constitutional to be precise) activities in Islamabad, their subjects are stranded in heavy rain & flood in Peshawar.

Peshawarites hoped that Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Government will bring a Tsunami of Change in their city, however, they were left to face disastrous floods and rains by their choosen ones.

Anyways, Nawaz Sharif is responsible for this, since Water Minister already prayed for rains last month.

Why Long March took so Long?

Seen as one of the Longest, in fact Slowest Marches in the history of Pakistan, the caravans of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Azadi March Band Wagon finally reached Islamabad after almost one & half days journey.

Imran Khan, like old Lorry Cleaners, took endless stops in all cities, towns, villages and streets to gather "Sawarian" (Passengers) en-route to Islamabad. Khan was even heard chanting slogans of "Mint Maro, Mint Maro" (Reach within a minute, reach within a minute) and "Pindi, Pindi, Abpara, Abpara" to attract passengers who wanted to go to Rawalpindi or Abpara.

However, people didn't show much interest, in fact, the people of Gujranwala were so annoyed, they pelted "Chitar" (Shoes) at Imran Khan's Lorry. Chitar-Therapy proved very fruitful, as Khan started rasing slogans "Double-eh, Dobule-eh" (Move on, Move on), and the Band Wagon increased it's speed so much that it over Sheikh-ul-Islam's Band Wagon, also en-route to Islamabad.

The information presented above is offered in Good Faith and is correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Azadi & Inqilab Marches approaching to Zero

Azadi & Inqilab Marches are approaching to Zero, and Interior Minister has made arrangements for a gathering of One Million souls, i.e. to accommodate Azadi Marchers.

I wonder if there are any arrangements for Inqilab Marchers, since Dr Tahir ul Qadri never brings less than Two Million souls?

Also, I wonder if there are any arrangements for parking Hundred Thousand Bikes, most of the Marcher Bikes are equipped with state of the art Stealth Technology to keep them invisible from non-believers.

Anyways, one thing is for sure, Interior Minister is very weak in mathematics.

The information presented above is offered in Good Faith and is correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Imran Al-Fasadi - The Technocrat Caliph of the Land of the Pure

Imran Al-Fasadi is all set to end "Badshahat" and declare himself "Technocrat Caliph" of the "Land of the Pure".

Furthermore, it is learnt that Imran Al-Fasadi enjoys full support of his old ally, Taliban Ameer Mullah Fazalullah Al-Farari, to challenge Caliphate of Abu-Bakr Al Baghdadi...

The information presented above is offered in Good Faith and is correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Biased Election Tribunal?

Hamid Khan, the Eminent Lawyer, complained that the election tribunals were being unfair to the PTI’s Candidates who, according to "Themselves", were the winners in Last Year’s Elections.

As an example, he quoted a PTI's Candidate Usman Dar from NA-110 Sialkot (One of the constituencies from Imran Khan's Famous Four) lost to PML-N's Khawaja Asif. Mr Hamid Khan stated that since Mr Dar was travelling abroad on business and could not attend three hearings of the election tribunal, his case was decided against him. I ask you!

If Mr Dar considers his Business Dealings abroad more important than pursuing his Case before the Election Tribunal, whose fault is it? Surely he should then pursue his Business Dealings instead of hankering after a Seat in the National Assembly, the hearings of which he has not attended on the three postponements allowed him.

At the same time, Mr Hamid Khan says the PTI has no faith in the Election Tribunals. Who then will carry out the audit of All the National Assembly Seats that Mr Imran Khan is demanding now? PTI's Election Commissioner (during Intra Party Elections) Mr Hamid Khan?

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Asad Umar to launch Islamabad Bullock-Cart Metro Transport

Pakistan Teheek-e-Insaf stalwart Asad Umar is ready to launch Eco-Friendly Bullock-Cart based Metro Transport Service in Islamabad, as a realization of his "vision of providing environment friendly, ancient and cheap transportation facilities to the people of his constituency".

Islamabad Bullock-Cart Metro Transport will be completed within a week, since Engro Pakistan, Asad Umar's previous employer, will arrange all the Bulls from their Dairy Farms located in Sindh.

Asad further said that "Bullock-Cart Transport will provide affordable transport service to the residents of the city. The project is very feasible in Islamabad, since there is a lot of grass (alongside roads) for grazing and the animal dunk can then be used for greenbelt fertility, creating an efficient eco-system".

The information presented above is offered in Good Faith and is correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Pakistan's stunning Maghrib Chase

Pakistan pull off astonishing Maghrib Run Chase to turn a Test on its head, with an incredible batting performance in the dying moments of Final Day, when they scored 302 runs in 57.3 overs to Sucker-Punch Sri Lanka and level the three match series.

It refreshed memories of Pakistan's brilliant twin Maghrib Chases chases against India in Second and Third Test of 1978 Series. Indeed, among the many kinds of finishes that Test cricket makes possible, a classic template for exciting Test-match wins: a chase completed in the dying overs of the fifth day.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Coward Commando afraid of confronting Courts

In a dramatic turn of events, the Treason Indictment of so called Commando, Pervaiz Musharraf, was postponed for the third consecutive time after the Retired Army General preferred to hide in a Military Cardiac Hospital with an undisclosed ailment instead of appearing in Special Court to face the charges against him.

A Three-Member Tribunal, formed to try Ex-President Pervaiz Musharraf for suspending the Constitution in November 2007, announced that it would allow him more time because of his physical state, and thus the Commando manages to escape Court proceeding yet again.

However, the Lead Lawyer of Musharraf’s large Legal Team, Ahmed Raza Kasuri, tried to cover the disgrace by saying that the Former Army Commander was not trying to avoid facing the charges against him, which could carry the Death Penalty if he is convicted.