Commando on sick leave

Commando General Musharraf has been granted sick leave by the courts and executive of Pakistan.

Gawadar port should be built in Peshawar

Gawadar port should be built in Peshawar, and if federal government do not provide Pakhtunkhuwa with it's due right and do not demolish existing port in Gawadar, then the provincial government will be left with no option but to perform Kathack Dance and federal government will be solely responsible for this, announced Chief Minister Pakhtunkhuwa.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Shushma's Sartaj

Indian External Affairs Minister, Sushma Suraj, calls her Pakistani counterpart as "Sartaj".

General Musharraf - The Pakistani Pinochet

Pakistani Military Dictator General Musharraf and Chilean Military Dictator General Pinochet seems to have similar fate.

General Pinochet trial and house arrest started in 2004. However, by the time of his death on 10 December 2006, about 300 criminal charges were still pending against him in Chile for numerous human rights violations during his 17-year rule, and tax evasion and embezzlement during and after his rule.

While General Musharraf's trail started in December 2013 and yet he is still at large in Military Hospitals turned into Fugitive Camps.

Perhaps, most third world countries have such misfortune.

MQM Chef announces diet plan

Muttahida Chef has announced a diet plan to attain physical fitness.

Announcing his decision to implement diet plan, MQM Chef, who cuts many into pieces, said he had promised to the nation that he would rather die with hunger than go back on his promise of attaining full physical fitness. "Today I am going to fulfill this promise by sacrificing my diet," he added.

"I could never resist temptation to eat, however, I will now fulfill my promise," Chef said.

The information presented above is Fictitious, however, it is offered in Good Faith and Mostly Correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Popalzai saw moon on 5th

On 26th December 2006, Mufti Shahbuddin Popalzai of Masjid Qasim Ali Khan got late in moon sighting, as it was already 5th of Zil Haj and government already announced Eidul Azha to be celebrated on 1st January 2007.

Yet Mufti Popalzai decided to advance Zil Haj date and announced that today is 6th, not 5th Zil Haj and Eidul Azha will be celebrated in NWFP (Modern KP) on 31st December 2006, i.e. a day before rest of Pakistan.

Hence moon was sighted on 5th and it became 6th instantly.

Life-time Sajjada-Nasheen of Lal Masjid

Firebrand cleric Maulan Abdul Aziz is life-time Sajjada-Nasheen (Heredity Administrator) of Lal Masjid, and Lal Masjid has same status for Jihadis that Data Darbar has for Sufis.

Elections were not Affair : Mera

Lolywood Star Mera has alledged that "Elections were not Affair" and she expected to have atleast an affair with Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Chairman Imran Khan or Awami Muslim League Chief Sheikh Rashid.

Drying Salt Range - Hindu Lord cannot weep any more at Kataas

The hills and valleys of the Salt Range are among the most haunting on earth. In its Kahoon Valley, Chakwal the Pond of Hindu Lord Shiva at Kataas Raj is sacred to Hinduism, as its ancient temple is raised over the waters of a deep and mysterious Pond which existed since very very long.

Hindus believe that Lord Shiva grief-stricken over the death of his beloved Sita gave vent to his tears and from his immortal eyes a teardrop fell at this spot and created the pool at Kataas Raj. So the legend goes. A second teardrop fell in Pushkara near the Holy City of Ajmer, creating another pool of water. From times past pilgrims from far and wide have come to both places, to bathe in the holy waters and seek salvation.

They need not come to Kataas Raj any more for the first of Lord Shiva’s teardrops has finally dried up and much of the bottom of the Pond – about which it was said that no one had ever plumbed its depths – lies exposed to profane view.

Reason being, the three Cement Plants in the Kahoon Valley given the go-ahead and all possible encouragement by General (Retired) Pervaiz Musharraf and his Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz, including the use of unbridled state power to acquire ancient landholdings, are a monstrosity in any case. These Plants are huge, producing about ten-thousand (10,000) tons of cement each a day. Put this together and it comes to thirty-thousand (30,000) tons a day. Imagine the amount of limestone, clay and water required for this infernal production, some of the most beautiful hills on earth – I am not exaggerating – stripped away and water, precious and pure, sucked up from the depths to feed this demand.

The Plants are also a form of vandalism. The Kahoon Valley is a wonder of creation, blessed by the Lord. It is a slice of paradise, rolling hills on both sides, a gentle valley in between, all the way from Kallar Kahar to Choa Saidan Shah.

Katass Raj and its Gem of a Pond will not be the only losers, however. Twenty (20) kilometres to the North West sits Kallar Kahar, a saline lake where migrating birds tarry on their great North-South Transhumance twice a year. It was here that Zaheer ud Din Babur, the founder of the Mughal Empire, captivated by the natural beauty of these hills, tarried. Here he planted his garden called Bagh-e-Safa, of which the remnants can still be seen.

If this non-stop sucking of water continues, we will see the land turning to mountainous desert. Agriculture will die out because of the aridity, wells will run dry and without the water from Shiva’s tears, farming families will be forced to move away. The beautiful Kahoon Valley will become a conglomerate of Ghost Towns. By the end of the current century, the ghostly hulks of abandoned cement plants will remain to remind us of the avarice of a few evil men.

Related Posts:
Wind power potential at Kallar Kahar - Chakwal (Punjab, Pakistan)
Motorway's Killer Range kills more

Special Load Shedding Schedule for Happiness Day

When the whole World will be observing International Happiness Day, the people of Pakistan will face Special Load Shedding.

International Happiness Day will be observed on 10th July across the World including Pakistan, where special Load Shedding measures have been taken to keep Pakistanis Happy. Various other programmes will also be held to Celebrate the Day.

Gallup's Global Barometer on Happiness showed thirty one percent (31%) of Russians were happy below Global Average of forty percent (40%) while Fiji is atop where eighty five percent (85%) of the populace was happy.

The information presented above is offered in Good Faith and is correct to the best of our knowledge. If any factual errors have appeared here inadvertently, then we would be pleased to hear from anyone wishing to offer corrections.

Related Posts:

Every hour in Pakistan is Earth Hour

Gas is not a State of Matter in Pakistan

Marvi of Sindh rejects Khan again!

Marvi Memon of Sindh has rejected Imran Khan's Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf and preferred her folk, Muslim League.

Alike the Folk Tale "Umar & Marvi" in Shah Jo Risalo, authored by famous Sindhi Poet Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai, Former MNA of Pakistan Muslim League (Quaid) Marvi Memon has rejected all temptations from Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Chairman Imran Khan and prefered returning to her folk, the Pakistan Muslim League (Nawaz).

It is not the Custom of Maru Folk

To exchange Kith and Kin for Gold

Putting an end to rumours of joining PTI, Marvi Memon has picked PML-N over the Tsunami, Mari announced in a Press Conference flanked by Nawaz Sharif.

While addressing her plans she said it took me three years to understand that politics is not possible in any Establishment-Sponsored Party.

"I found PML-N a Matured Political Party as compared to others and meeting with Nawaz Sharif removed all doubts", said Marvi.

She further said, "This is a serious, mature, down-to-earth leadership. They understand the issues in detail".

Why limiting Saraikistan to Punjab only?

Talk of Saraikistan is in fashion these days, but all such talks are limited to carving out a Saraki Province from Punjab only.

The Coalition Parties in Government, i.e. Pakistan Peoples Party, Mutahida Qaumi Movement and Pakistan Muslim League (Quaid) are calling for new provinces to be carved out from Punjab.

However, for their kind information, many different Dialects of Punjabi are spoken, some of which include Majhi, Malvi, Pothohari, Saraiki, Thlochi, Changvi, Hindko, Shahpuri, Riasti, Dhani, Pahari, Jangli, Ghebi, Darhab, Doabi, Jafri, Derewali and Sindhi Saraiki.

Importantly the major Punjabi Dialects of Southern Punjab are also spoken in neighboring regions of other provinces. Such as Derewali is spoken in Dera Ismail Khan, Tank and Bannu Districts of Khyber-Pakhtunkhuwa. Jafri is spoken in Musakhel District of Baluchistan, alongside Barkhan and Dera Bugti Districts where Derewali is spoken.

While Sindhi Saraiki another Dialect of Sariaki (Punjabi), which has a few features of the Sindhi Language, is widely spoken in Kashmore, Jacobabad and Ghotki Districts of Sindh. Also, about forty percent (40%) population of Interior Sindh speak Sindhi Saraiki.

The Mutahida Qaumi Movement, backed by its partners, has submitted a Bill to the National Assembly calling for Punjab’s division on linguistic basis. What they don’t understand, perhaps, is that Saraiki is just a Dialect of Punjabi and not a different language at all. And the pure Sariaki is spoken in parts of Multan Division only.

Therefore, if it is desired to create a province based on the major Punjabi Dialects of Southern Punjab, then its boundaries must be spread across Khyber-Pakhtunkhuwa, Baluchistan and Sindh as well.

Related Posts: How will Pakistan look in 2015?

Update 4th May: The National Assembly adopted the resolution for the formation of South Punjab, a new Province.

Update 9th May: The Punjab Assembly has adopted resolutions of the creation of South Punjab and Bahawalpur Provinces.

Veena Malik - Future Deputy Chairman of Senate

The Pakistani Senators have decided that Veena Malik shall be made the Deputy Chairman of Senate. Because only her presence in Senate could make the Prime Minister and the Federal Ministers to attend the Senate proceedings.

Speaking on the floor of Senate, Mushahidullah Khan regretted that although the Deputy Chairman Senate put to use all "Tactics", neither the Prime Minister nor Federal Ministers came to attend the Senate proceedings"

He said now only one last option was left to be tried, i.e. "Lets, bring Veena Malik from India and make her a Senator or a Deputy Chairman... and perhaps then the Ministers might show up."

On this, Deputy Chairman Senate Jan Jamali added "A more sizzling thing be made the Prime Minister."

Mushahidullah further said "Veena Malik has disclosed all her assets, and it is now the responsibility of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf to accommodate her for a Party Ticket in future."

Bodyguard feeling unsafe

The "Bodyguard" Star Salman Khan spoke in London about his ongoing recovery from the recent surgery and upcoming films. His film "‘Bodyguard" that was released on Eid broke all Box Office records but in real life Salman feels unsafe and wants ex-flame Katrina Kaif to be his Bodyguard.

About his surgery, he said, "They were looking for something else, but found an aneurysm. There was a problem from the spine. Everything is okay, but right now I`m tired because of the flight and the surgery."

He was in US for his treatment when "Bodyguard" was released, he could not believe it for starters that the film was such a big hit.

As reported by a daily, he revealed, "All our (Kareena and Salman`s) films together have been a disaster 'Kyon Ki', 'Main Aurr Mrs Khanna' so we took it as a challenge to make this film a hit. The reason it's a hit? May be because Katrina performed in its title song?"

A few of days ago, Salman said that, he wants to become Katrina Kaif's body guard.

Ustad Motay Altaf Hussain Khan presents "Mujra Marathon"

Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) Chief and popular classical singer Ustad Motay Altaf Hussain Khan, presented "Mujra Marathon" Video Conference from London on Friday evening that exceeded two hundred minutes. 

Altaf Hussain rhythmically sang the preliminary lyrics "Parday Main Rehnay Do, Parda Na Utaho" (پردے میں رہنے دو پردہ نہ اٹھاؤ) of an Asha Bhosle Song that was picturised in the famous 1968 Bollywood box-office hit "Shikar" on actress Asha Parekh.

Sheikh Rashid wants to become 'Meera Patti'

Chief of Awami Muslim League, Sheikh Rashid Ahmad has finally decided to get marry and become 'Meera Patti'.

Sheikh Rashid Ahmad has finally decided to get bound in a marital relation with famous Movie Star Meera, he also withes to hold the matrimonial ceremony in Lal Haveli.

However, Meera's reaction has not been known yet....

India gushes over Hina

Pakistani Foreign Minister Hina Rabbani Khar has won instant fans in India, with her photo adorning the front pages of most Indian newspapers amid high interest in her arrival. Looks like, the whole India gushes over her and she might get a call from Bollywood soon.

"Pak Puts On Its Best Face," noted The Times of India, the biggest-selling English-language daily, while mass circulation Hindi newspaper Navbharat Times said India was "sweating over model-like minister."

"Pak bomb lands in India," joked the Mumbai Mirror tabloid in a tongue-in-cheek reference to the history of wars between the countries and attacks by Pakistani militant groups on Indian soil.

The Mail Today tabloid devoted extensive space to her choice of outfit as she flew in to New Delhi airport. 

"The 34-year-old minister scored full marks on the fashion front when she was spotted at the Delhi airport in a monotone outfit of blue — the colour of the season," it said.

"Tasteful accessories — Roberto Cavalli sunglasses, oversized Hermes Birkin bag and classic pearl jewellery — added a hint of glamour to her look," it added.

The Telegraph newspaper meanwhile compared fresh-faced Khar, a married mother of two who caused a stir at home after being photographed in tight jeans, with her elderly counterpart S.M. Krishna.

"In the unkind world of adjectives, the odds are stacked against SMK and in favour of HRK," it said, using the ministers’ initials. "Khar carries with ease descriptions such as ‘stunning’ and ‘petite’." Krishna, a 79-year-old who takes great pride in his tailored suits, might face a tough job attracting attention later Wednesday when the two pose for photographs at the start of their talks.

"All eyes on glamorous Pak minister," said the Rediff website. "She is clearly being looked at as a perfect combination of beauty and brains." The Indian Twittersphere was also ablaze with commentary on the Pakistani envoy, who has taken over from Shah Mehmood Qureshi who drew criticism in the Indian media over his strong language last time he met Krishna.

Journalist and author Seema Goswami saw a link between the monsoonal downpour that struck the Indian capital and the generally fawning coverage of Khar.

"Even the Delhi skies are drooling," she wrote.

The Foreign Ministers of the nuclear-armed neighbours are holding their first talks in a year, looking to breathe fresh life into a peace process still stifled by the trauma of the 2008 Mumbai attacks.

Observers expect little to emerge from the meeting beyond some modest confidence-building measures connected to relatively uncontentious issues such as cross-border trade and people-to-people contacts.

However, the direction in which Hina Rabbani Khar's popularity graph is heading, she might be contacted for a lead role in a Bollywood movie.

Katrina eyes PM seat, as she claims qualification equal to Gandhi

Glamorous actress Katrina Kaif has hinted that she is interested in doing politics, and said that she is proud of being half Asian, like Congress leader Rahul Gandhi who is also half Indian, half Italian.

"Am I supposed to be ashamed that I am half Asian, half European? I mean, no! Rahul Gandhi is half Indian, half Italian. So? I am very proud of what I am, because it is very useful in international politics these days. If my popularity and dual-ethnicity can server India? I would love to serve in what ever capacity I can? If Rahul Gandhi can get a benefit, and is foreseen as a future PM, why wouldn't I?"

Atiqa Odho booked for wine

The Airport Security Force have booked glamorous actress Atiqa Odho for carrying wine in her luggage while traveling from Islamabad to Karachi. She was kept in custody for about an hour.

An official of Airport Security Force has said the matter was settled with mutual consent and no need was felt to inform the police as the value of recovered liquor was very little.

However, Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry took a suo moto notice, which resulted in lodging of an FIR (464) on behalf of an Assistant Collector Pakistan Customs in the Airport Police Station.

On the other hand, All Pakistan Mulsim League representative has said that Atiqa Odho's incident is a conspiracy for discrediting APML and PML (N) is behind her wine addiction.